


Fracture

by GlitterAndDoom



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-09
Updated: 2010-12-09
Packaged: 2017-10-13 14:17:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/138280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterAndDoom/pseuds/GlitterAndDoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe Adam's heart had stopped then, that razor-sharp wail as he crumpled against Tommy a death cry instead of just the sound of everything breaking, of every dream they'd wanted suddenly meaning nothing at all.--The rarely-explored dark side of mpreg.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fracture

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** Fracture  
>  **Pairing:** Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff  
>  **Summary:** _Maybe Adam's heart had stopped then, that razor-sharp wail as he crumpled against Tommy a death cry instead of just the sound of everything breaking, of every dream they'd wanted suddenly meaning nothing at all._  
>  **Warnings:** Angst, **mpreg** , miscarriage  
>  **Author's Notes:** The rarely-explored dark side of mpreg—when it all falls apart. I tried to do justice to the subject—I have never carried or lost a child, but I have suffered losses. My sincerest apologies to anyone who may be offended or upset by the subject matter or the way it's been portrayed.  
>  **Disclaimer:** I own nothing, and this stuff is all lies.

"I should've been able to handle it. I should've—" It was the most Adam had said since the world fell apart, and he didn't say another word, just pulled his legs into the chair and curled up around himself, like he was trying to shrink into nothingness. Tommy just watched, glued in place as Adam stared into the distance while Tommy's heart twisted and he tried not to shatter into a billion little pieces.

Everything had looked good, once. He'd held back Adam's hair and made _Exorcist_ jokes while Adam battled morning sickness, he'd rubbed Adam's tiny round belly and said, " _You look totally fucking adorable,_ " when Adam first started showing, he'd been there for those faint and tiny kicks, almost too entranced to see the light in Adam's face. Adam had been radiant, happy and beautiful and fucking _glowing_ as everything went well. Shit, he'd _never_ seen Adam so happy, and he'd never felt so happy.

Now, Adam looked dead, his skin pale, his eyes blank. Even when Tommy touched him, he barely moved. Tommy was living with a ghost, a corporeal and breathing and bleeding ghost that seemed to feel nothing while he felt _everything_. Every breath felt like a knife to the chest, every thought felt like a kick to the gut, every move was a new kind of agony, a new kind of apocalypse, and Adam...Maybe Adam's heart had stopped then, that razor-sharp wail as he crumpled against Tommy a death cry instead of just the sound of everything breaking, of every dream they'd wanted suddenly meaning nothing at all.

Not that he knew how to fix it. He shielded Adam from the telephone calls and the constant flood of messages, made sure Adam ate and bathed and kept breathing. Every day was a battle to keep breathing, even as the pain screamed more and more, louder and louder in the deafening silence.

" _I should've been able to handle it._ " He never knew what to say anymore, but, fuck, what did he say to _that?_ " _It's not your fault?_ " " _We can try again?_ " " _Maybe it's not meant to be?_ " Just thinking it hurt. Adam wasn't to blame—neither of them were. They'd done everything the doctors said and then some. Adam would've done anything to keep their baby inside him, to keep their baby—

Their baby. Their fucking baby. That was their fucking _child_ , and she was _gone_. He could still see all the imagined milestones in his mind, but they had all faded into darkness, all Polaroids left in the sun 'til they'd turned into ashes. He and Adam were supposed to be happy, and slowly getting ready to be happier. They had plans, they had dreams, and then the world ended with the words, " _She's not moving. I haven't felt—_ " and Adam's panicked face.

The world revolved around Adam, but it wasn't turning anymore. Adam was broken, the world was fractured, and Tommy didn't think it would ever be okay again.

"I love you," he said, into the void. He didn't know if he was saying it to Adam or the baby anymore.

Or maybe he was saying it to no one at all.


End file.
